Last updated: 5 Feb, 2003
WWW.TOOLBAND - SUCKS.COM
04 Feb, 2003
In the last few days I have received dozens of emails from Tool fans telling me to check out this "hilarious anti-Tool website." Well, I recently did so, and the e-mailers were right; it is kind of amusing to read their rants about Tool_s lyrics and the contents of the website written by Kat and yours truly. But it_s not hard to figure out the agenda of those responsible for the site, as the first thing one notices is the familiar _fish_ symbol of certain Xtians (actually a stylized slanted vagina - such was the genius of Jesus and his true disciples [A COVEN of Twelve plus One = 13], knowing that the masses would condemn what they, themselves, treasured, leaving such a precious (and RARE) commodity to the cult/secret society that lies (did) at the core of true Christianity. Can anyone have any doubts that Jesus, himself, was a practicing magician schooled in the ancient (Gnostic) Egyptian mysteries (now do the Biblical Three Wise Men, or MAGI [from which we derive the word Magic] make more sense? And how about ALL THOSE MISSING YEARS SPENT IN EGYPT? Throughout history, other seekers of the ancient mysteries and "those in the know" have done the same thing as Jesus_s disciples did in their synoptic gospels - saying one thing to the masses while concealing their true message in a coded shadow language meant only for other _players_ (such as the nocturnal initiation of the resurrection of Lazarus). Even the nazis attempted to do this, condemning all occult Fraternal Orders, secret societies, etc. so that they, alone, could gain and utilize the power of such secrets. Does anyone deny that the architects of the Third Reich were not members of an occult Fraternity not unlike those that they outlawed? He that is wounded in the stones (testicles), or hath his privy member (penis) cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. - Deuteronomy 23:1 And a nice example of a CONtradiction:
I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. - Genesis 32:30
No man hath seen God at any time. - John 1:18
And I (god) will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts; but my face shall not be seen. - Exodus 33:23 And if that is too cryptic for you, how about this passage:
"To you has been given the secret of the Kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in PARABLES; so that they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand; lest they should turn again, and be forgiven." - Jesus to Mark 4:10
Personally, I didn_t think the Toolband-Sucks website was worth the bother, but I am pleased to post Victor_s response (followed by my own footnotes and a brief commentary, with quotes taken from the Bible, many of which were published in The Heretic_s Guide to the Bible - The Worst of the Bible - over 100 passages reveal the Bible to be a contradiction-ridden exercise in hate, misogyny, domination & submission, and sadistic power fantasies):
Hello! I recently visited your intriguing web-site: www.toolband-sucks.com and I must say BRAVO for a site well constructed! Needless to say, however, as the lesser left hand of the Infernal Dark One, I must insist that your coverage of Crowley be a bit more thorough. Come on - - you can at LEAST try to elaborate on the man_s bad aspects! He was bisexual, a drug abuser, a Satanist, and SCOTTISH! Surely you don_t want to leave out that. The man was not only a sodomite, he wore SKIRTS! (Kilts, skirts - skirts, kilts -- it_s all semantics as far as I can tell.)
The sensationalism and hype that your site is generating is causing TOOL_s record sales to sky-rocket. (Well, they wouldn_t be so bloody high if the parents your site is designed to target weren_t busy DESTROYING all of their kids_ TOOL albums! Every time a copy of UNDERTOW goes up in flames, Junior just decides to go buy himself another copy.* What does that mean for those associated with the band? MO_ MONEY! )
So, again - - well done! But do turn up the vitriol, deary.
Victor T. Cypert 33*
Neophyte, Initiate, High Initiate, Adept, Knight of the Royal Secret, Prince of the Inner Temple, Commander of the Secret Order, Initiate of the Seventeen, Sublime Prince of the Dark Arts, Outer Custodian of the Baphomet, Inner Custodian of the Baphomet, Beholder of the Secret Flame, Grand Elect Mysophilote, Grand Conservator of the Mystery of Sirius, Perfect Initiate in the Tradition of the O.T.O., Invisible Agent of the Orient, Archon of the Order A._. A._., and Supreme Commander of the _Order of Shig._*
A couple of footnotes and a brief commentary by BMB:
* What these parents fail to realize is that there is a powerful subliminal message encoded in every record, CD, etc. that in the event that one is destroyed, the owner should immediately go buy another copy. Think I_m kidding? How many of you have bought (or obtained through other means) a new copy after your first one was scratched, stolen, lost, removed by a guardian, etc.? I thought so.
* Order of Shig. Shig is a very mysterious substance as anyone in the P.U.P. Lodge can readily attest. It may be similar in some ways to the thrilling vapor or mysterious gas called S_ngac (a violet gas that is an emanation of the Mauve Zone). It would be unwise to speak further of this substance at this time.
"If you take the cruel passages, the verses that inculcate eternal hatred, verses that writhe and hiss like serpents, you can make a creed that would shock the heart of a hyena. It may be that no book contains better passages than the New Testament, but certainly no book contains worse. Below the blossom of love you find the thorn of hatred; on lips that kiss, you find the poison of the cobra. The Bible is not a moral guide." - Robert Infersoll
The Toolband - Sucks website contains a warning to parents about the band, Tool:
"It is highly suggested that parents inspect their children_s_ CD collection for "Tool" and review the CD so that they may consult with their child about the music and remove it from their collection..."
"If your child has Internet access, be aware that he or she may be able to obtain this music from various places in the Internet that allow downloading of music."
- Parents Against Violence
I might suggest that if they_re against violence so much, that they immediately burn any copy of the Bible that they can lay their hands on. Is there any book that contains more violence than the Bible? I mean that most glorious of unfulfilled prophecies known as THE END OF THE WORLD!
But the end of all things is at hand... -I Peter 4:7
Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. - I John 2:18
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. -Psalms 137:9
HE THAT SPARETH HIS ROD HATETH HIS SON. - Proverbs 13:24
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. - Proverbs 23:13-14
...and my personal favorite (let this be a warning to all you young Tool fans):
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him... And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die. - Deuteronomy 21:18-21
"The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, and to this day I cherish an unappeasable bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was fifteen years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean, sweet breath again this side of the grave." -Mark Twain
It_s also funny to read what they say about our mentioning of Aleister Crowley and magick, but I_ll let those interested check this out for themselves. First though, take a minute and study the following:
Apo pantos kakodaimonos
Good, you are now sufficiently hypnotized and will ignore their message about Tool_s use of mind control on their loyal fans who read the website.
03 Feb, 2003
Blair's January newsletter is now up so please take a few minutes from your busy schedule to read it. If it's not too much to ask, if you do read it send him a short email to keep him busy. He has been a little bored lately and has taken to harrassing the band members to pass the time, they'd like to get him off their backs... Thanks.
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